vampires who adopt each other into very specific family roles
“so I know I’m like a century older than you but you give great advice and you knitted me a sweater that one time, will you be my grandma?”
“Look, I know you’re older than me by a millennia, but you act like a younger brother, so you’re that now.”
“I never thought I wanted kids but frankly someone needs to take care of the trainwreck that is you so”
“Which one of you is older?”
“I mean, if you’re talking chronologically then I’m 8,900 years old and she’s turning 94 next week. Otherwise, we decided thirty years ago that we’re twins.”
“So, care to tell me how this happened?”
“Well, Elspeth’s the oldest so-”
“Chronologically. You volunteered to be the big sis last century, it’s your job to explain your joint screw-ups.”
“Technically almost all of us are older than our dad. He’s like, the sixth oldest guy in our coven.”
“Mom goes first because she’s the oldest.”
“Technically, you’re the oldest.”
“Technically, I’m the middle child, so lead the way into the dark spooky hallway.”
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