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alexander the great was a weird horse girl

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thoodleoo:

  • when alexander first saw bucephalus and found out that his dad philip didn’t want to buy the horse because he was unmanageable, he kept saying that it sure would be a shame to give up such an awesome horse
  • he kept saying this until philip was like well alex do you think you’re so great that you can tame this horse
  • of course alexander said yes
  • alexander tamed this Troubled Horse Who Lets No One Else Handle Him by being gentle to him and and turning him away from his shadow
  • literally like a Horse Girl Movie ™
  • philip was so amazed by this that he told alex that macedonia was clearly too small of a kingdom for him
  • in the words of a delightful ode to bucephalus, “fuck you, dad”
  • bucephalus became alexander’s favorite horse whom he loved without equal and who wouldn’t let anyone else ride him
  • one time bucephalus got kidnapped by persians and alexander freaked the fuck out
  • he promised that he would cut down every tree, burn all the crops he found, and kill every living creature until he got his horse back
  • needless to say, bucephalus was returned along with a plea for mercy
  • bucephalus then supposedly lived to be about 30 years old which is pretty long for an ancient horse
  • when he died alexander was so upset that he named a city bucephala after him
  • that’s right, a city named after his horse
  • somebody please make a Horse Girl Movie ™ about alex g

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