aka what I really mean when I say, “thank you, I’m so glad you liked it! <3,” an incomplete list
- Marry me.
- This makes me want to claw my own face off and eat it, but like, in a good way.
- That “heart-eyes motherfucker” gif, but projected simultaneously onto every billboard in Times Square
- You’re clearly delusional but I’m into it.
- As we speak a tattoo artist is inking your words onto my lower back so they will be a part of me forever. The pain is excruciating.
- not to be weird but i would crawl through boiling pitch for you
- Let’s move to Reno and rob a casino together.
- That is so sweet that I just had three successive panic attacks over the idea of trying to fulfill your hypothetical expectations.
- *sobbing into the microphone as the tuesday night karaoke audience looks on in horror and consternation* AND I WOULD WALK FIVE HUNDRED MILES AND I WOULD WAL
- Through your kind remarks, I have ascended to a higher plane of existence; lacking corporeal form I will sadly be unable to finish the story in this medium but will attempt to beam the remaining plot directly into your dreams through a series of dire portents symbologists will take decades to fully decipher
- u ever want someone to help u dispose of a body lmk i got 20 gallons of industrial strength drain cleaner and nothing left to lose
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Drafts of comment responses I will never send
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